Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

01. the end of the week.i really want to see my boy again.
02. psych paper submittion.
03. more papers/ homeworks.
04. more tests.
05. stop facebook-ing
06. countdown to the next time i'll have some life (friday i hope, fingers crossed).
07. love.

finally outing day with van at dempsey :) :) :)
nice food plus nice place plus nice company.
i wish everyday is wednesday.

you started talking to me the moment i played paramore's the only exception.
little coincidence like this make my day/night.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

01. be music-y. be very music-y. you already won half the battle by fulfilling this criteria
02. do the courting. never skip that.
03. impress me. both m and loverboy played their choice of instrument(s) and that pretty much won my heart instantly.
04. accept me for who i am, including my sometimes very pessimistic view of life, insensitivity, over sensitivy, over emotional/sentimental crazy heart.
05. show me and let me into your world. make me realise that i need you and you'll be there.
06. text me when you think of me, just so i know.
07. leave very good first impression by being chivarious and/or charismatic. now that's lethal.
08. be friend with van.she'll tell a couple hundred other things you need to do to win my heart/ make me smile/ make me love you more.

its not difficult to win over me, or is it?

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

01. i like to exhaust my fingers on the piano to clear my head. or go to secret place.
02. i need my caffeine fix every morning.
03. i'm craving for pancakes plus maple syrup.now.
04. i think asian lit is underated. the same goes to classical and jazz.
05. i'm a light sleeper.
06. i'm gonna chop off my hair to shoulder length once i'm tired of long hair.that is if i'm brave enough.
07. i daydream in class alot.
08. i like cutting-and-pasting pieces of assorted pieces of papers.that's theraphutic.
09. i like to bake at midnight when everyone else is asleep.

The 10 Day Challenge

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

01. i miss you. bad. everything about you. the way you say my name. the way you laugh (majority of the time laughing at me). the way you hold my hand. the way you wanted a hug in the middle of the carpark. the way every night spent with you is magical.
02. can't wait for wednesday. i'm so used to seeing you a few times a week in school or at work it feels so weird now.
03. i wish you could help me sit for my psych paper. and lend me your brain so i can write a decent psych paper on time. can i have happy food?
04. i need more food in my room.
05. have a safe trip back from hongkong tml.
06. thankyou for wishing me luck before piano. are you done studying for psych?
07. i miss youuu! pls visit loverboy for me in ntu and tell him i miss him.
08. dear love and happiness, where are you?
09. teach me how to load the game plsssss(?)
10. you are calm. you will breathe. you will finish that textbook eventually.

"You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives

I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again"
loving olivia ong's version of this classic. really you wont go wrong with jazz or bossa!

boy, i cant wait for you to be back alr!

"closing doors, opening hearts"
because who we are behind those closed doors are more often then not so different from the facade everyone sees.
just yst i thought about that time when i nearly gave you up, thank god you convinced me not too.

piano exam's over so now i shall get busy with school work
but before that's a day off for myself to do boring things that make me happy.

thank you for holding me through the night, for watching me break and helping me piece myself back up again, for being there for me even though i was a bitch a few nights ago.

"我不是你想像那麼勇敢
多想讓你保護 能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝　像個孩子一樣"

i never did told you that i was never strong, never as strong as what people want to think anyway. cold yes, but strong, i'm a far cry away.
my tear ducts are really over active these days. just a week ago i cried reading an equal music, today i cried hearing a song.
its getting harder and scarier to be leonie these days.

oh by the way, here's the answer to your question yst.
if there can only be one reason, i'll say that what i like the most about him is how he's like second skin to me.
its how when he's with me, he fits me really well.
its how every first doesnt seem like a first.it's as though we've practised a thousand times before, such that the moment is always unforgettable.
its how me being me and him being him is enough to justify us.

10 things to do over the weekends plus recess week.

1. practise piano like there's no tml for piano exam.breathe
2. go to secret place at least once to gain back sanity
3. long-overdued meetup with different bunch of friends
4. buy a copy of vikram seth's an equal music, and probably murakami's norwegian woods. need to reread before it appears on the big screen and kills my imagination.
5. revise those that needs revision, research those that need to be researched.
6. swim/ jog.
7. finish kundera's testaments betrayed.
8. retail theraphy.
9. clear/ file away my messy table
10. dont think so obsessively of loverboy.he'll come back soon

idk why 'm feeling so messed up. its like i'm worried for loverboy, but is there any reason for me to be?

i'll miss you bad too.in fact, i'm already showing the i-miss-you-already symptoms.
its really a thousand sad faces today :( :( :( :(
just anyone everyone please distract me and keep me busy for the next one week yeah.tyvm

"As if, behind the art of melody, there hid two possible intentionalities, contrary to one another: as if a Bach fugue, by bringing us to contemplate a beauty of being that is outside the subjective, aimed to make us forgot our moods, our passions and pains, ourselves; and as if on the other hand Romantic melody aimed to make us plunge into ourselves, feel the self with a terrible intensity, and forget everything outside."

this is honestly one the most thoughtful thing i've read in a while. Kundera's essay is seriously mindblowingly good.

"distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a great reminder just how strong true love can be"

"when he's the one, i'll come undone."

you know i'll be very biased and clear my day just to see you before your trip.
i give you my word for that.
its sad that late last year/early this year it was me that went travelling and now, its your turn.
i really need to see you now now.
you'll be my instant remedy to this sadness, really.

"My heart just skipped a beat, over and over again.
For the right, and for the wrong reasons."
i missed you.terribly.
wish you're here with me.

i guess we aint exactly civilised on the phone a day or two ago
seriously wrong move to call you
i probably wasnt exactly sane and you just pissed me off and snap.
since none of us are ready to apologize,
a time out will be good. no?
and honestly i only have vague idea why we're in a cold war

ASSUMING..

Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost?
My long lost primary school BFF :)

Assuming you have various kinds of electronics (phone, camera, iPod, etc.), are you currently charging any of them?
laptop!

Assuming you use moisturizer, what kind do you currently use?
some MUJI moisturiser i got from HK just because its travel sized.

Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today?
wore it down, straight

Assuming you’re listening to music, what are you listening to?
five seconds to hold you- Devics

Assuming you text, what does the 3rd text in your inbox say and who is it from?
ahaha.okay it reads "Bonjour", by whoelse but lover boy.
I was telling him i'll be stoning for french class and that was what he wrote. put a smile on my face though :)

Assuming you have better things to do other than surveys, what should you be doing right now?
concentrating on the discussion of JS1101E and probably get more sleep.i sense a flu coming :(

Assuming you’re consuming something, what are you eating/drinking?
water. i'm craving for friend chicken though..

Assuming you’re not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have?
alternating a roomie that gossips wth me at night and between my mumsy, younger brother and daddy that comes here once or twce a month and

Assuming you’ve looked outside today, what’s the weather like?
good. not too hot but enough sun and no gloom.

Assuming you’ll be wearing clothes today, what will your outfit be?
jeans and toga top. i'm finally venturing into asymetrical clothes.

Assuming you have friends, when’s the last time you talked to one of your bests?
today. texted and called van. we've got plans for tml finally! :)

Assuming you actually get out of the house once in awhile, when’s the next time you’ll be traveling somewhere (anywhere) and where will you go?
tml morning.morning morning like 8am. i bet i'll be questioning my sanity right after i leave the house.
off to a private sale. the rest will be an impromptu arrangement. we've become so acustomise and so good at not planning our days

Assuming you’re not a saint, have you ever shoplifted?
nope.

Assuming you have some obsession with a TV show, name the top three shows you’re most addicted to.
i'm more into foreign films lately but a while ago i think gossipgirl, glee and fringe1 made it into the list.


mutual addiction and desires
ain't we all slaves to love?

it's like, i am so unworthy, and yet i am so blessed.
everytime i find myself facing something unpleasant, life will give me ten other reasons to smile.
i'm not gonna lie to myself that you're not part of the reason, because you obviously are.

i'm sure we didn't take each other for granted.no we didn't.
i think what we took for granted was how comfortable we are being around each other.right from the start.
being around you, its almost too natural
there's no need for practice. no need for rehearsals.
there is no need to hide, no need to guard my heart.
like what you always said
i'm all yours.
so true. so true.

i know its not exactly a fair playing field for you, but i'm trying.and i'm definitely fighting for you.
you're worth the fight. any day.

i can listen to Devics sing 'The man I love' all day.

i vaguely remembered writing about this before.
Milan kundera defines love as warmth and weight. I thought how true it was for our friday night rencontre.
You may not have the advantage of time like m had, but you made it up with intensity.

ugggghhhh withdrawal symptoms :(
seriously, not cool
i thought i was over this phase but no, it still feels as crazy as any first.

i've got more than 150pages to read for psy next mon
and the clock is ticking away.

how come some people know me and recognise me without me havng the faintest idea who they are? This is really bad

crazy crazy, but i love you so much.
honestly, it's pointless for me to try and resist you.
because i can't.
i'm weak in front of love, but i'm only human.
the rule is still unchanged, and no one here is crossing that boundary.
it was too obvious that we both knew we didn't stray.
that boy, is enough for me to keep my faith alive.

still, when you said those three words,
i felt the rush, i felt the love.
there are just some things that don't change.
you.
your familiarity.
your cheekiness.
the way you taste.
the way your fingers glide on my back.
the way some things never go out of practice, no matter how long, no matter what.

i like it when you nibble my ear.
i like it when i can feel your breathe, on my neck.
i like it when we kissed, until we're all breathless.
beautiful.

"I'm waiting for you to teach me."
this love is so an education for the both of us.

got laksa for lunch cos i was craving badly for it and guess who got laksa too for dinner?
This kind of tiniest, purest coincedence really makes me smile. Encore!

in the end love, i hope you're gonna cure me from lack of faith.

with you i realised that its not about the crazy things we've done, or about to do, or where we go, or what other people see, or even what the future holds for us.
it's really just about you.
about you being le un.
about falling hard, falling a la folie.
it's about, i'm glad it's you.

everytime i want to leave
everytime i'm ready to tell you that let's just take a break for a while and see if we'll fall for each other all over again the next time
everytime i've convinced my heart to be cold
you gave a reason to stay
no, you gave me a thousand reasons to stay.
and that's the reason why i'll continue fighting for you while i still can.

you're my dose of pure adrenaline,
and boy, i'm really looking forward to seeing you again
because i want to believe, that you're real.
and that you're mine,
mine to keep.